Wow. There are absolutely now human words to describe what Jesus Christ did for us. We've all heard, countless times, the horrific description of Christ's crucifixion - but to see it: I am speechless. No adequate verbal descriptions exist in any language to recount this horrific sacrifice. Watching The Passion of The Christ was like witnessing an execution; an execution I took part of. With every lash of the flagrum I was overcome with chest-wrenching sobs; simultaneously I felt an enormous wave of compassion mingled with the painful knowledge I was the one holding the whip. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs, "STOP!" But it wouldn't: it couldn't; Christ gave his blood for mine.

Hebrews 9:22
In fact, the law requires that nearly everything be cleansed with blood, and without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.

1 Peter 2:24
He carried our sins in His own body when He died on a cross. In doing this, we may be dead to sin and alive to all that is right and good. His wounds have healed you!

We must not make a mockery of the Ultimate Sacrifice. In our own lives, we cannot belittle it with disobedience and laziness.

Faced with a slap in the face.

Sounds dumb, yeah - but I experienced this concept recently. I tend to be a naive person; think the best of somebody until blatantly forced to think otherwise. Most of the time my naivete leaves me feeling stupid and dejected, but it's something I've come to expect! Case and point #1 on why our complete faith should be in God - because people will let you down. Anyways, I know that not everybody believes in God; that's a no-brainer, but it makes me want to vomit when I hear someone say: "There is no God." If they have no faith, what do they hope in? How do they survive day to day?

I realize this is nothing new; Christ dealt with this every day he walked on Earth. The Son of the Creator came to Earth in flesh - lived, ate, breathed & pooped just like everybody else. In addition to all that above named goodness (ya like the poop part don't ya!), he also did miracles - right in front of people: AND THEY STILL DIDN'T BELIEVE!

So, in the midst of craziness remember Romans 10:17:
Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ.
How can our faith be strong if we're not devouring God's word? It's impossible - that I know from personal experience.

Proverbs 12:6
The words of the wicked kill; the speech of the upright saves.

This past weekend at the conference I bought a t-shirt (that I couldn't really afford - but hey - that's never stopped me before!). Anyways, this verse is written on the back of it - in Chinese. Ooh, special. I figured I should probably make it a point to know what I'm advertising, so I looked it up. (What a novel concept!)

"The words of the wicked kill. . . . ." Destructive words come easily to me - too easily in fact. It's always so much easier to criticize and belittle someone than it is to build them up. Why do I opt for cruelty? Even though those wicked words may never pass through my lips, they're still there. When my pride gets in the way I may never actually speak harshly, but the meaning is fully implied in the way I dismiss people, ignore or choose not to validate them. For me, that's the worst of all. When my heart is corrupt and I'm able to hide it; I lie to myself.

"The speech of the upright saves. . . . ." How often is a word of encouragement the only thing that keeps someone from going over the edge? How often do I choose to keep it sealed behind closed lips? Christ never spoke empty words - there was an underlying theme of love in every breath he took. Even as he blasted the money-changers in the temple and unleashed his holy rage it was all completely out of love. My rage is often unholy; it's more of an unleashing of demons for me! So, as I wear my faith on my sleeve, literally and figuratively, I am challenged to "Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels."
2 Timothy 2:22-23

Shhh . . . if you listen quietly you can hear it. The Jaw's theme music. It's coming. NOOOO!

It's that time again - student conference. My reaction towards this annual event is quite different today than it was five years ago, probably because then I didn't have to worry about who is missing, why that wierd kid's eating paint chips and trying to remember 30 names. For the most part, five years ago my focus was on myself & trying my hardest to act stupid - man, did I excell . . . Now, since my focus has shifted to the students (voluntarily or not!), I find myself worried that I'll screw something up, afraid they may not ask any questions, and if they do, I'm scared I won't be able to answer them! What if, what if, what if. Basically, it all boils down to where I place my trust. If it's in myself & my ability to minister (which isn't great) then I'm definitely gonna fail. So - God - take control & teach me to (in the words of Forrest Gump) "get down and shut-up," so I can focus on the One who really matters.

Point to ponder: Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

Now that I've got you wheels turning I'm gonna shift gears. (Man, I'm a metaphorical genious. . .) I know we've all heard the buzz concerning Mel Gibson's The passion. With all the controversy it's caused I can't help but be excited about it! Afterall, if it wasn't controversial it'd probably be a watered down,candy coated version of the gospel that so many today are suffice to nibble on. The fact that it is making people angry, excited, scared and utterly remorseful reminds me of the ruckus Christ stirred up 2000 years ago. Those same emotions still run rampant today - afterall, Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.

There are countless articles and news stories describing the religious fervor thousands of Christians have about this movie. In the end, that's all this is: a movie - some actors, directors, large paychecks, film, popcorn and audiences. But, just look at it's effects! Imagine how Christians could totally transform the face of the nation, continent and world if we were half as impassioned for Jesus Christ as we are for this movie.

Hope everyone had an awesome Valentine's Day! Chris got me a dozen roses, ahh - how sweet. My homework continues to pile up and I'm not sure where to begin. I think if I worked on it for 3 days straight I wouldn't even put a dent in it. Yikes! This weekend the youth are going to a conference and I'm going too - as a leader. Yes, I can hear all of you laughing now. Please keep all of us in your prayers (Chris, Melford, Garrett, Craig & Sarah - I probably missed someone, sorry) this week. Pray God would give us his wisdom, guidance, boldness and honesty as we talk with the youth. Pray their hearts would be softened even now and that they would respond to God's call.
Have a super-duper-totally-awesome day!

Psalm 86:15
"But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness."

Compassion, grace, patience, love & faithfulness: God has 'em, so should we! God has shown me, through recent events, how necessary it is to show His love and compassion, especially when it's easier not to. It's much easier to grab a rock off the side of a road & hurl it in someone's direction. Easy because I'd be far away at a safe distance, (but not too far since I throw like a girl...) not witnessing the blow of the impact. Personally, I hate confrontation (unless I'm the one instigating it!) so I usually run the other direction. I have to change the chanel when people start arguing on talk shows because I can't deal with it! I cringe when newscasters get into heated debates with the interviewees, and again - change the chanel. (See the pattern here?!)

Usually, the harder thing for me to do in these situations is stand beside the person getting hit with rocks. I'd be forced to see their pain, watch them bleed and bandage their wounds. It's these times that force me to face my demons and examine my own heart. I hate confrontation so much I'd rather stand infront of the stones, but that's not always an option. Everybody expierences times in life when the stones seem to be coming from one of those tennis ball thrower-things and your feet are glued to the ground so you can't run away, and I think sometimes that can be a necessary evil.

God has taken his super-glue to my feet this past week and shown me what my first instinct, Olympic Stone Throwing, really does - and it makes me sick. I want to apologize to anyone and everyone who's ever been on the receiving end of my stupidity.

Philippians 4:8
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy think about such things.

I love this verse; it's simple, exact and to the point. For me, these words are often overlooked due to their familiarity, but they are so true. If we as a people would stop focusing on ourselves and start focusing on God's truth, nobility, righteousness, purity and lovelines there'd be a lot less stupidity going around! So easily I can focus on what I like & what makes me happy - but how often do I actually take the effort to take my eyes off myself and focus them on my Creator? If I did that even 1/2 the time my life and those around me would be drastically impacted. Selfishness and pride build walls so high that we can't see over them, but then God is still there - unaffected by our own divisions. He will always see through my lies, facades and masks.
No matter how good we may look on the outside, how many times a week we go to church, or how many lies we tell, or how well we have ourselves fooled; GOD IS NOT STUPID! HE SEES IT ALL!!! After time, it gets easier and easier to sweep him under the rug, put him out of the picture and stop listening all together - but when we do that we're basically signing our own death warrant. No, he may not smite us with a lightning bolt or make you wet yourself uncontrollably infront of strangers, (although he could & the pee thing would be funny...) but he may just stop talking. I mean - if we don't want to listen why should he waste his breath? He loves us no matter what, but why would he continue to bless us and speak his power if we don't really care what he has to say?

Our lack of fear and respect for God has the potential to bring about horrendous circumstances. Check out 1 Samuel 16:14-15.
"Now the Spirit of the LORD had departed from Saul, and an evil spirit from the LORD tormented him. Saul's attendants said to him, "See, an evil spirit from God is tormenting you."

What?!? God's spirit departed from Saul? Hmmm, wonder what could've caused that, because 6 chapters earlier Saul looks like a pretty blessed man. God's spirit was all-up-on-him & he was prophesying.

1 Samuel 10:1
"Then Samuel took a flask of oil and poured it on Saul's head and kissed him, saying, "Has not the LORD anointed you leader over his inheritance?"

1 Samuel 10:9
"As Saul turned to leave Samuel, God changed Saul's heart, and all these signs were fulfilled that day. 10 When they arrived at Gibeah, a procession of prophets met him; the Spirit of God came upon him in power, and he joined in their prophesying."

Then, like we have all done hundreds of times before, Saul screwed up. He did not wait on God's timing. Back in the day only certain people could make sacrifices, as ordained by God. Samuel told Saul he'd show up to perform the sacrifice - that was God's ultimate will and plan. But, because things weren't happening exactly when he wanted them to he decided to take matters in his own hands. He didn't like God's timing so he looked at his own stupid-human-watch. Bad move. Really bad. Fear, anxiety, lonliness or impatience are not reasons to abandon the will of God. Saul did not take his spiritual advisors advice, he did not take God's advise and he suffered the consequences.

1 Samuel 13:8-14
"He waited seven days, the time set by Samuel; but Samuel did not come to Gilgal, and Saul's men began to scatter. So he said, "Bring me the burnt offering and the fellowship offerings. " And Saul offered up the burnt offering. Just as he finished making the offering, Samuel arrived, and Saul went out to greet him.
"What have you done?" asked Samuel.
Saul replied, "When I saw that the men were scattering, and that you did not come at the set time, and that the Philistines were assembling at Micmash, I thought, 'Now the Philistines will come down against me at Gilgal, and I have not sought the LORD's favor.' So I felt compelled to offer the burnt offering."
"You acted foolishly," Samuel said. "You have not kept the command the LORD your God gave you; if you had, he would have established your kingdom over Israel for all time. But now your kingdom will not endure; the LORD has sought out a man after his own heart and appointed him leader of his people, because you have not kept the LORD's command." "

OUR TIMING IS NOT GOD'S - SO DON'T TRY TO FORCE IT TO BE!

History repeats itself? Hmm... Not sure about that, but there will be another evil trip to DFW Airport this Saturday. For all those who haven't heard (and obviously live under a rock) Micah is also deploying. He leaves this Saturday and will join up with Warren's crew in San Francisco. There are a ton of jokes there I'm not even gonna touch. It's just too easy! Keep Micah & his family in your prayers.

Not much going on with me - just school & work. And since it's just school & work it's super-easy for me to get distracted from what matters most. There have been late nights I've found myself apologizing to God because "I'm too tired" to spend time with him. Yes, I know: I suck. Keep me in your prayers, or just send some convincing threats my way to keep me on track. There are never any excuses to put God on the backburner and I catch myself trying to make some up on occasion. Bad, bad - very bad. How can I possibly think it's okay to ignore the God who chose to love me and give me oxygen to breathe? I can find time to write a paper, read a textbook and do Pilates - but when do I make time for God? Not nearly often enough.